May 29, 2010

Of Chocolates and Cookies

You know your day went well when;

1. You have to wake up earlier than you want to because mum tells you you're not carrying your weight around the house so please wake up at this ungodly hour to send your sister to tuition. I have to agree with her. Ever since I am funemployed, my weight has been pretty much supported by my bed.

2. Gets pretty annoyed by Mel when she does not answer your calls for the last 30 minutes and you're starting to wonder is she still asleep? Knew that you should've stuck to 10.40, not 11 when trying to negotiate a time with another funemployed person.

3.Gets pissed when the Abang Minyak (who eerily reminds you of the Orang Minyak) wants you to pay at least RM 30 for your petrol if you wanna pay using Debit Card. When are we Malaysians gonna jump on the cashless bandwagon?

4. Reached Mel's house only to found out the reason she was late was because of her gastric. Haih, you know you can't be pissed because of that. Decided this person is worthy of your love and friendship again.

5. Had fun with the girls despite the heavy traffic jam to Bangi (kesian Anith). Conversations on career path, cute baby videos on YouTube, and good parenting skills reminds you that you are not sixteen, so please find a possible male specimen to mate with (if possible with Adonis good looks, intelligent, good conversation skills, funny and prefers to do the house chores, cause you don't).

6. Figured out the above characteristics is almost impossible to be found in men, decided to invest in cats with long life span.

7. Arrived at Beryl's in Bangi (population: not many), and came up with the conclusion that even if they don't have that many selection for the free buffet, the chocs are still good. Embarrassed one self when you made a beeline to the chocolates only to discover that there was a long queue that you are unaware of cause Oh My God, free chocolates are simply diviinneee. Decided to rationalise that it is your God-given rights to ignore queues cause you're a Malaysian, maa!

8. After one round, you decided that you had enough, but figured out, this is unfair! we came all the way to Bangi (toll: RM 3) only to eat a couple of chocolates? Ili suggested that we should "pack" some of the chocolates home. Thus, you and your silly friends decide to go for more rounds and chuck the chocolates inside a makeshift containers inside you and your friend's bags. Gets mortified when you see a sign that says "Smile! there's CCTV cameras around the premise". Says WTF? and goes for another round with your friends.

9. To compensate for your kampungness, you and your friends went for a small chocolate shopping spree that costs you RM5. Went back and had lunch at Subang Parade with waiters and passersby gawking at you while you and your friends redistribute your loot.

10. Went to Mel's house to bake some cookies. Bought some home and the cookies were finished in 20 minutes. Fished some compliments from your family members and perasan you're the next Nigella Lawson only more awesome.

I wonder what's gonna happen tomorrow???
Wooooooooossssssshhhhhh~~

May 27, 2010

Sunrise

Baru dapat tidur tadi pukul 8, lepas satu malam suntuk buat kerja. It was nice to actually experience sunrise after all these years :)

Selama aku hidup ni, mama tak pernah kasi tidur terlajak. Dia mesti suka gerak dgn rakusnya membebel/cuit bawah betis sampai kaki cramp OMG SAKIT GILA NASIB BAIKLAH YANG BUAT TU IBU TERCINTA TAK JADI NAK DERHAKA,OKAYY!. Dahlah selalu pakai template "anak dara tak boleh tidur siang blablablabla, tak tau malu ke blablabla". Apsal kena malu? bukannya laki tahu pun. Hahaha. Ok, sekarang semua dah tahu aku suka tidur terlajak =_="

Aku: Kawan Along okay je mak dia kasi tidur sampai petang sume.
Mama: Habis nak jadi apa tidur sampai petang?
Aku: jadi beruang?
Mama: pungkok hang...

Tapi hari ni mama cool okayy tak gerak langsung, siap tutup pintu bilik tanak kasi dengar dia bukak cerita telenovela Sepanyol yang ada mamat tua rambut panjang muka pengemis sebagai watak hero. Siap kasi day-off dari jadi supir, tak payah amik adik-adik balik dari sekolah. Hasilnya, pukul 2 baru aku bangun.Tapi rasa pelik gila bangun masa petang. Sangat tak normal. Selalunya pukul 2 tu saya dah bersiap sedia untuk tidur kembali, ni pukul 2 baru bangun? Apsal mama tak bising-bising? Rasa macam....



...kurang dikasihi.

May 25, 2010

Le Sigh

Why do you have to make me feel like I miss having conversations with you?
Not good.
Dislike >.<

Well,
Maybe a lil bit of like :)

Aaarghhh!
Doe Wannn to fren yous.

May 19, 2010

Nyemplung

Apa itu nyemplung?

Kawan saya dari Indonesia post status yang ada perkataan ni. Tak nak buat orang lain rasa menyampah, dari tanya kat dia terus, saya google dulu. Saya cintakan google. Orang kata google jahat pun, jahatlah. I NEED GOOGLE IN MY LIFE. Lepas google perkataan nyemplung, terdapat 72,300 carian dalam masa o.8 saat. Inilah kehebatan boyfriend saya. Mungkin lepas ni, kalau anda google balik ayat nyemplung tu ada 72,301 carian(tapi masih dalam masa 0.8 saat). Antara jawapan nyemplung mengikut kata Encik Google;

1.HIDUP IBARAT ANAK NYEMPLUNG DI SUMUR TUA PENUH ULAR BERBISA & MADU MANIS.

Apakah? mengikut kata Pak Pahit Banget;"Tamsilan hidup penuh bisa beracun tetapi menggiurkan karena manisnya madu yang ada di sekitarnya." Woww, cantiknya maksud peribahasa ni, tapi masih tidak dapat menjawab soalan. Tambahan pula, sumur itu apa?


2.Tempointeraktif.Com - Korban Mobil Nyemplung Warga Banten

korban mobil= kereta kemalangan. Tapi nyemplung tu apa? Banten tu kat mana (ingatkan saya google Banten)


3.IHSG – Rupiah Nyemplung ke Zona Merah Berita Terkini Info Terbaru .

Masih tak jawab soalan. Mungkinkah nyemplung ini satu benda yang tak elok sampai buat Rupiah ke Zona Merah?

4.Luna Maya Nyemplung Di Kolam RCTI | Dunia Celeb Gosip Artis Foto ...

Laaa nyemplung tu berenang ke?Faham, faham, faham.


Terima kasih Encik Google. Tapi sumur itu apa??

May 18, 2010

Cerita Penternak Lemak

Sekarang tengah hujan. Kalau pandang kat luar boleh nampak dua bumbung. Satu baru kaler, eh, cat. Satu lagi dah lama tak cat. Miskin betul jiran aku tu. Tu la kauuu, sapa suruh bela anjing takde kesedaran sivik yang suka melantak dan melalak, nak cat bumbung pun tak mampu. Pfft, dah la suka baling najis anjing merata-rata bila nak cuci belakang umah kau. Kesian Indon potong rumput terpijak tahi anjing kau.

Takda correlation najis anjing dengan bumbung rumah, jadi mari kita abaikan perenggan pendahuluan di atas.

Nanti sambung balik cerita. Cheng Lye dah hantar sms mintak amik dia kat LRT, pastu amik Sara kat Uptown pulak. korang memang beruntung mempunyai sahabat yang menganggur tapi penuh dengan nilai-nilai murni Pendidikan Moral. Sanggup aku potong waktu bertafakur atas katil untuk korang.

Ya, sila sayang aku. Kasi penganggur ini makan free juga satu nilai yang murni. Nama nilai dia benevolence (tatau apa nilai dia dalam Bahasa Melayu)

May 4, 2010

What I don't like about Facebook

Yeah, I'm a Facebook addict. In fact, I am thinking about using the reasons below to somehow curb my facebook addiction. In no particular sequence, below are the reasons why I don't like Facebook.

1. KiTEwR TaRk SukEwR LaR OwAnG TyP3 McM NiEyh.HiKHikHikZzzZ

Memang macam haram.How old are you? 13? Well, even if you are, please don't resort to this.It's not cryptology, neither it shows any semblance of intelligence. It groups you into budak-emo-ingin-diperhatikan-yang-gemar-melepak-di-Bintang-Walk. Sangat menjengkelkan. You think it's cute?IT'S NOT.

Adik- beradik untuk alasan ini ialah org yg typ sk tglkn vwels drg.Thr's a rsn why w hv vwls.fkg use it la wy. I rly dn't knw tht t's ths hrd t* xclde th vwls(ah fish, I give up).

When you're typing with the glorious invention that is the keyboard, utilise it's functions, people. It's not like you're using your phone now. Why are you guys so blardy lazy? It's even more annoying when you use this language in e-mails. Emails to friends tara hal la, ni, if you're sending e-mails to your lecturers, janganlah tulis cam tu. It's just plain rude. You don't need to go to an etiquette school to know about this.

Let's not even start with the people who likes to say "Ala, kita-kita jeww" or " U dah makan keww". Sumpah nak tambah dosa aku la kan korang ni. Seriously people. WHAT THE FISH??(oh sangat teringin nak tulis f*ck, sekarang). Apa itu jew? Bila masa korang jadi Yahudi? Starbucks, McD semua tak nak makan, tapi hari hari zikir kat fb/text/twitter "jew, jew,jew" apa kes weeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..Pfffttt (baru satu alasan dah bikin panas)


2.PDA couples.

Congratulations, you're the only person in the world to have a relationship with another human being. Let's celebrate it by posting your undying love/what you did with your partner/how everyone should be jealous of your relationship. Come on, people. I can understand, if you're in a long distance relationship, and you need a cheap way to ask about your partner's day,heck, I wouldn't mind getting newsfeeds from the occasional I love yous/I miss yous/How is your day, sayang?. But when you have exhausted other means of communications (meeting up personally/phone/texting), perlu ke sampai constantly spamming others about how great your love story is? It gets even more bizarre when the posts became something like "Cayunk, I dah basuh baju you yang warna putih tu. Bila u nak datang amik?Cayunk sgt kat papa muahx muahx muahx"

Fuck it, give me a break.

I don't want to know how his baju putih ends up with you and you have to clean it. I don't want to know that you have committed yourself to slavery by washing a man's T-shirt WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO,TOLONG LA WEYH DIA LAKI KAU KE SAMPAI KENA CUCI BAJU DIA SEGALA. I shudder to think about how you've elevated your status to papa/mama when you are not even married YET.

Don't forget the crazy status updates about how the PDRM should lock you up cause you're so addicted to your drug, *insert gf's name*. Oh My God, I can still stomach in those constant I love yous, but this, this is in a different level. Hebat sangatlah kisah cinta Laila Majnun kau tu. No, you're not showing us lonesome heart, how great it is to fall in love. But you did make me feel like I should give up social interaction with humans all together and retire to a deserted island.

And the baby talks i.e "Bee, Bee tau kan syg syangggggg sgt kat Bee.Namo cedeyh-cedeyh, nanti bee buat syg nanges. Namo Namo Namo"

Pass me the barf bag,please.

No, I'm not some crazy loner who hates people in a relationship. In fact, maybe because I'm such a romantic that I hate this stuffs. Professing your love on fb is nothing. I can do that to the person that I hate, it just need a few seconds of typing and hitting the comment button. You're still in that stage where you don't know your partner, regardless of how you think you actually do. So, tak payah la nak berlagak. My definition of true love is that, after decades of waking up to an ugly, wrinkled,muka-penuh-air-liur-basi, kentut-masa-pagi face, you still think that the person waking up next to you is the most beautiful person in the world. Now, that's love. FB apa barang weh, kalau rempit kacau awek ko pun, belum tentu ko nak defend kan?


OK, writing this is harder than it's suppose to be. Tiba-tiba saya menjadi sangat emo. I'll continue this when I'm not so sleep-depraved.

May 3, 2010

Thank you

Even if the moment is brief,
Even if the feelings were just for awhile,

Thank you.

I thought I was jaded.
I thought I never could feel this giddy anymore.

Thank you.

No, I don't think anything could come out of this.
But,this.

This is wonderful.
So,thank you.