January 6, 2013

Revelations from looking back.

I can't taste my Nutella Hot Chocolate. That was suppose to cheer me up after receiving the potentially disastrous news. Then I got to thinking, what would happen when I completely lose my senses of taste when I'm old? What if I lose them before i get old.
This was written as a draft in May 2012. I have no idea what this leads to, and I am curious as to what had happened that made me write it. Half of me regrets not writing the whole story down. Thoughts like "Why can't I have the drive to finish the things that I have started?" or "I really need to pen my thoughts down, this could seriously be a life altering lesson, and here it is, lost in transaction." Then again, if it is so life altering or such a revelation, why did I not remember it, 7 months later? So what about the other half? The other half is glad. Glad that whatever that made me wrote those sentences must be something shitty. Disastrously shitty from the looks of it. I only write when there's something bothering me. But apparently, 7 months later, I've forgotten what had bothered me. I'm glad because now,now I have a proof that whatever that can and will bother me, will pass, and I will forget about it, and as certain as time... ...Life goes on :)

November 28, 2011

Dedicated to the Sperm Donor

5 years.
5 years and I'm going to cut ties.

August 23, 2011

24 on 24

A decade ago, I never thought I would be,
At twenty-three, on the verge of spontaneous combustion.
But I guess that it comes with the territory,
An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.
I need you to hear, I need you to see
That I have had all I can take and
Exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.

A decade ago, I listened to this song. Wondered how being 23 would feel like. Tonight, I'm only few minutes shy of being 24, and I still wonder what it means being 23.

So where do I go after tonight?

August 15, 2011


I think being happy is hard work.
That's why there's a lot of people who feels miserable.

If you're sad, you need a pick-me-up, right?
Talking to people to lighten up a burden, that needs a lot of courage, and effort.
Going out to do the things you love;
Photography, Movies, Rock-Climbing, running, reading, Driving at 180km/h.
That's hard.
Being happy also costs a lot of money.
Shopping therapy is not cheap.
Sometimes, the way for you to be happy is to solve your problem,
But it's so friggin hard. There's a lot of effort and emotions involved too.
Trying to be positive,
Man, that's the hardest. How do you do it when shit is falling from the sky left,right,and center?

But I'll tell you something,
The hard work pays off,

So get up, dust yourself off,
And Be, instead of Think.

July 13, 2011

Happy thoughts, anyone?

I love weddings and baby announcements. After all the shitty stuffs that you listen in the news, the shitty stuffs that you went through, seeing someone being blissfully happy....

...is infectious =)

Please give me a life time supply of happy stories! My mood is easily influenced, especially by happy stories. Dalam banyak-banyak happy, ada jugak ah soalan biasa;

"You bila pulak?"

Hahah, I don't mind one bit (for now) bila orang tanya. Probably because I'm loving my single and independant life too much to share it with anyone, right now. I believe that a woman's life will always be dependant. Before you get married till uni, you'll be taken care of your father, after you get married, your husband. So when are you really gonna have a me time?

"Career, career jugak, but it's important that you start a family too."

Probably, but not now. I just can't imagine myself being a soccer mum, and spending most of my time tending to a husband and children. Probably one day, but not now.

While others are dreaming of a perfect husband, I'm dreaming of a perfect vacation. How can you be a good wife when you're still toying with the idea of having a summer fling in Europe and eating space brownies?

Sangat tak sesuai.

Maybe i have different and awkwars priorities compared to other girls. Ever since I was little, while other girls were dreaming of being a princess, I wanted to be Optimus Prime. While other girls are giggling over their school crushes and plannning their perfect wedding, I planned to take over the world, and the key to total world domination was Prince William being gay. (No joke, this was my plan when I was 12)

Right now, total world domination sounds more inviting.Hehe.

June 20, 2011

Untitled 2

I've been doing a lot of thinking, and maybe, just maybe,
it's about time we put those that belongs in the past in a box.

You know, kinda like the box where you'd put all the Christmas lights.
Only to be opened on special occasions,
Tangled and all.

"You're a lot of work, and you're messed up,I'm glad I only need to deal with you once in a year."
Yeah, that's you.

Toodles, I'm off to buy a new lamp.
Bright, easy to operate, and does not cost as much.

June 19, 2011


When all else failed me,
Literature won't.

Dear Words,
Thank you for not leaving me,
When others did.