CAUTION: THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE ANOTHER LONG POST BECAUSE I'M FEELING KINDA SENTIMENTAL AND BEBEL-ISH RIGHT NOW.MUST BE THE PERIOD.NAHH, IT'S JUST ME.
Today, Cik Tasha passed me an article about Hijab, and you can read it here. It's a nice read, and I feel I can really relate to it as I only started to wear the hijab somewhere early last year. Basically, the article talks about the perception that the Muslim community has on women who does not wear their hijab, and how we should adjust this perception of ours.
Let me share my experience on donning the hijab the first time. I was born in a quite liberal family. Liberal in a sense that my parents never forced me to wear the hijab if I don't want to. My parents prefer me to find my own truth, at my own pace. When I was a kid, I asked my dad "why do we have to pray?", and he never gave me the standard answer that elders are fond to give, which is "sebab nanti Tuhan sayang" or "nanti dapat masuk syurga", rather, he said "fikir sendiri", and I can't thank him enough for that. My confidence in my faith came from that, cause I know now that whatever I chose to believe now comes from my own reasoning, not influenced by other externalities. Looking at some people, I think I won't have the same conviction if my parents were the one to force religion on me.
Now, that situation is fine if I were to stay in the same community I grow up in. TTDI people are quite open-minded in a sense that we respect individuals' stand and opinions, even if we disagree with it. But I was forced out of my comfort zone when I have to be in UIA. I had a hard time adjusting to the new surroundings because of one thing; PEOPLE JUDGE. I was forced to be who I am not, most of the time trying to cover the fact that I don't wear the hijab outside of the campus compound. It's hard and sad when you are judged by the people who insists to call you "brother" or "sister" (it's the culture to call someone bro/sis in UIA, supposedly it's to show the love that we had for one another and the unity of Ummah, but I digress). Once, I was literally given "the eye" when I said I was from KL, and the look from the two sisters were like I said I just got out of a rehab centre. One of the dumbest question that was directed to me was "Oh, orang KL, mesti selalu pergi clubbing kan, biasa la, orang bandar," and I replied "Aah, clubs kat sini memang besar mcm stadium pun boleh muat satu KL". Needless to say, these cowards never had the guts to say anything to me anymore :P
Let me ask you this my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, if we really are brethren in spirit, why are you cold-shouldering people who are different than you? Not only that, you demean them, you alienate them just because of a shortcoming? "Aku tamau terpengaruh terjebak sekali dalam maksiat". I say bullshit. If you're influenced, the problem lies in you right? Maybe your faith wasn't as strong as you think it is? Since you really are the "exalted" ones, why not you help out our poor tortured souls? Some people want to change, they just don't know how and they're afraid to and there's like 1001 more reasons why they don't change, and they do need help from you, yes you, the guy on that mighty high horse. There's no point in you only preaching to your tudung labuh/ songkok tinggi friends, cause they don't need it, but we, the lower scums of the Earth needs it and you just turn your cheek the other way. Bro/ sis, remember in the Judgement Day, you can also be held accountable if you have the knowledge but you don't disseminate it.
Really, during the early stage when I was in UIA, instead of getting closer to my religion, I was pushed even further away. But I think I'll write about it some other day. Hahahah.
This is beautiful very amy, please share more of your experience about hijab.
ReplyDeletegood comeback on the clubbing remark (i expected as much from you hehehe)
ReplyDeleteto add to everything that you've listed, i also do not understand the relevance of the statement 'haaa kau buat jahat mcm tu, kau ni confirm masuk neraka jahanam. padan muka kau'
seriously. i never knew that being 'pious' gives you the benefit of playing God.
me, being the way i am, has obviously been unfairly judged and mocked as well.
but the comments such as 'u ni pakai baju ke pakai kain je ni?' only succeeded in making me RAGEEEE instead of rasa insaf.
instead, there was this one senior of mine who always spoke with gentleness and acts more than he talks. he's the kind who goes to mosques to pray but that never stopped him from conversing with me like an equal.
because of that, i automatically feel embarrassed with my inadequacy and will attempt to cover up each time i see him.
perasaan malu yang lahir dari diri sendiri works better than any torments or insults.
kan kan kan??
tulis lah lagi! i wants to reads whats yous write! hehehe
hani: Done :)
ReplyDeletetasha: kan! kadang2 I malas nak layan, diam je, but bila mood bitchy tu datang, memang gasak kena.
But sometimes, it's not much on them playing God, rather, they're just pretty insecure about their faith. Which was why they need constant reminder that their faith is there, just to remind themselves, "hmm aku tak buat cam minah/ mamat ni, aku masih kira OK wat". And you can see a number of these "pious" people turned apostate, lepas kena twist sikit je, cause they don't want to get out of their comfort zone.
Yep, I pun kenal ramai orang alim yang baik2 and buat I rasa sangat inadequate. Bila lepak ngan derang, Masya- Allah, their knowledge is very high, but they're so humble, I feel ashamed and at peace in the same time. heheh. Dah la pandai buat org cair, masa I mula2 pakai tudung, when others were questioning my decision, this one guy was the only one who said "I think you look sweet with hijab". Perghh, ayat tak boleh blah!! hahaha
i think you look sweet in hijab?
ReplyDeleteawwwwwwhh. mesti masa tu rasa mcm thats the sweetest compliment that you've gotten kan? tee hee.
tu lah agaknya orang kata, kindness go a looooong way. :D